Happy Birthday, Lasso Queen

On Monday the 21st, after I'd been to the doctor, I texted my sister "Baby somehow turned sideways. C-section tomorrow at 7:30am." There'd been no plans for her to be around when the baby was born, because she and my mom were both in the middle of EOGs (statewide standardized testing), which is a very intense time for teachers and administrators.

But she called me a couple of hours later, sounding very chipper. "Hi! Guess what!" She said. I was all doom and gloom, still a little shocked and upset about the sudden c-section. "Did you get my text?" I asked. "Yup," she said. "We're COMING!" She had found a substitute and my mom had managed to get the day off. "You ARE!?" I screeched. Suddenly, things felt much better.

My sister has put a lot of time in for me this past year or so--a time that can only be described as a rather self-involved one for me. It seems to go, in our adult lives, that sometimes one of us is having a harder time, and sometimes the other. And then the other one of us picks up the slack, and mans the battleship, and is the bulwark. She's taken a much longer turn than usual.

We talk every couple of days, in the late afternoon or evening, once she's out of school. That's always when I am most tired, especially when very pregnant, so she never gets me at my best. She always listens. And she almost always makes me laugh.

Last weekend, she came to visit for a couple of days, and Finn ran in from playing with her in the yard. "We did LASSO!!!" he told me. Chav followed him. "Lasso?" I asked her. "are you lasso-ing Finn?" "Well, I take the ball that's tied to the rope, and stand in the middle of the yard, and swing it around while he runs in circles around me. Lasso. He loves it." Chav has invented more games with our tireless boy than I can count. I don't know how, but she manages to eek out every bit of creativity possible from him. It's what she does with her lucky students, too.

Chav is the best sister I could have asked for, and the best aunt these two boys could have asked for. Happy birthday, Chav!!

My sister's baby, undoubtedly

Don't worry, we moved Finn right after this picture, so he didn't kick Eamonn in the head

This One Goes Out to the One We Love

Dear Dada,

Thank you for working the 8am to 12am shift for us, and for still finding time to hold Eamonn at least once, and to play with Finn for a few minutes. Only one more week of this insanity, then one week of regular hours, and then you have TIME OFF!!! We can't wait to be a family. We love you and miss you all the time!

Mommy, Finn, and Eamonn

What's in a Name

So, when you got my text or my email or saw this blog, you were probably either like "Ah, yes, Eamonn, like AY-min" or, you were like, "EE-MAHN? What the #$#  kind of weird-@$! name is that?? Couldn't they have just named him John??" It's okay, I understand. I thought I'd give a little background on Eamonn P. Cakes' name.

When I said that Eamonn is a Gaelic name like Finn, one of my friends said, "I didn't know you identified so strongly with your Irish heritage!" I don't.  I'd feel sillier choosing Gaelic names if my great-grandparents weren't "off the boat," but we chose Finn and Eamonn because we loved them, rather than for their Gaelic roots.

Anyway, I truly can't remember when we decided on Finn, although it was quite early on in our marriage, before we had any serious plans for children. The only other name we were serious about was Lincoln, but we decided against it. I had never known another Finn when he was born, and figured people would wonder what the heck kind of name was Finn, but as all trends go, it turned out we weren't the only ones who loved "Finn," and I have met a few little boys with the name and several little girls named Finley.

As for Eamonn, we've had that name about as long as we did Finn...since 2006/2007. I'd heard it before while traveling in England and Ireland (it is quite common in Ireland and most UKers would know how to pronounce it), but it came onto Jeff's and my radar screen through an HBO series we watched when we were first married: the prison drama Oz (a great source for baby names, I know!). One of the actor's names was Eamonn, and then and there, we said that if we ever had two sons, we'd name them Finn and Eamonn. We loved the sound of both names, on their own and together.

This will sound ridiculous, but I suppose because "Eamonn" has been with us for years now, I'd pretty much completely forgotten that it is an extremely uncommon name in the US and a tough to pronounce one. Jeff and I struggled so much to come up with a girl's name this time that we never even talked about Eamonn, we just knew what our baby's name would be if he was a boy.  So it's been funny over the past week to see people's reaction to it. Most have pronounced it "EE-MAHN" or "EE-MUN." I've developed a standard line, that "AY-min is a Gaelic name, as is his older brother's, Finn," since it seems to put it into perspective a little. For the record, Jeff doesn't think it's a difficult name to pronounce at all, and cracks me up by giving me suggestions for helping strangers to pronounce it.."Ay-min, like framin', or blamin', or shamin'."

Eamonn saying, "I'll have the last laugh, Mom and Dad, when I run away to Dublin at 16 just so I never have to spell my name again!!!"

I know Eamonn will have to spell and pronounce his name throughout his life, but in my experience, even people with common names have to do this. I think "Susannah" is pretty self-explanatory, but I can't tell you the millions of times that doctors, teachers, potential employers, etc, have read my name and decided that it must be pronounced "Susan" or "Suzanne." Uh....there's an "ah" at the end, people! You wouldn't believe how many people during our marriage have spelled "Jeffrey" "Jeffery." How hard is it to spell Jeffrey? I know a Kara who has spent her life trying to convince people that it's Care-uh rather than Carr-ah.

So, I think our little Eamonn will survive. When the doctor pulled him out, Jeff looked over the curtain and said immediately, "It's Eamonn." I took one look at him and knew it was the right name. He is Eamonn through and through.

Oh, and Patrick is for my dad. I've never heard anyone call him Patrick in my entire life, as he goes by Rick, but I love the name Patrick. My dad thinks we should call Eamonn "E. Rick" instead. Like Eric, only not.

One Week

Eamonn was one week old yesterday! This morning we headed off to the pediatrician.

Eamonn weighed in at just under 7 pounds, 11 ounces, so he has regained to his birth weight. He is now measuring 20 inches (from 19.5) and, drumroll please, his head circumference is in the 85th percentile. This cracks me up, since Finn was in the 10-15th percentile throughout his first year of life. I can't tell any difference between the size of their heads in photos, but apparently Eamonn has quite the noggin.

In true little boy fashion, Eamonn peed on Dr. Frerichs as soon as he started examining him. Whoops.

Eamonn saying "Where my boyz at?"

We went to Barnes and Noble for a bit afterward, and despite the fact that day to day, I feel great for just having had a baby, we were all exhausted by lunchtime. Naps for everyone! (except Mare Mare...we never let her off the clock)

My Number One

In case you were wondering, Finn is hanging in there with all of the upheaval in our household. He had stayed on his sleeping schedule extremely well when Jeff's parents were in town before Eamonn arrived, and still did great while we were in the hospital. It's been rougher for him since we came home. He is absolutely loving all of Mare Mare's attention and the fun adventures they're having, like swimming at the YMCA outdoor pool. It's mostly just around me that he acts out a bit, which kills me, because I feel like it's the classic "I'll take any of your attention, positive or negative" behavior. I'm trying to do a few activities every day with him, like reading stories and singing songs before nap time and bedtime, and blowing bubbles in the driveway, and hiding his plastic Easter eggs. But I know he probably feels like every time he sees me, I'm on the couch feeding Eamonn.

I won't lie, this is definitely the roughest part. I miss our long stretches of alone time and all of our inside conversations and jokes. I hate not being his primary caregiver. And I definitely feel guilty when I think about what must be going through his head, and how he's processing all of this: grandparents living with us, Dada not home at all, Mommy with a strange tiny creature attached to her. I know it will all be okay, of course. And we've given him a brother!! But I do miss my boy.

Maternity Mondays: 41 Weeks

Please excuse the no-makeup, bleary-eyed, haven't slept in a long time appearance. This is what having a newborn looks like! I am showering every day, which is a big accomplishment!

So, here's the last installment of Maternity Mondays. It is kind of crazy to think that, had Eamonn not turned transverse, I most definitely could have still been pregnant right now!!! Can I be honest and say--even though I really didn't want another c-section--that THANK GOODNESS I'm not?? Those last few days were rough. I think you just reach a point where you know it's going to happen soon but you have no idea when and you are just READY. I give a lot of credit to all the moms out there who go to 41 weeks and beyond (Kathy, I think you were even later than 41 weeks?) It's a mental game at that point and I know I was losing.

The photo where I look most pregnant

Anyway, my body is kind of a war zone right now, and I will spare you the details, except to say that I tend to have more side effects of having ravenous eaters for sons than I do from recovering from major surgery. In terms of surgery recovery, I've been lucky again to bounce back pretty quickly. The second day after surgery is always the worst, and our two nights in the hospital were rough, since I was exhausted and in pain but also needed to be up to feed Eamonn all night, but all in all, I don't think it was too bad...maybe I'd feel differently if I had the experience of a normal birth recovery. I haven't taken the big drugs since Thursday night and am now getting off of ibuprofen. Trying not to push it, but I definitely want to spend time with my active near-3-year-old while also feeding a newborn around the clock, so it's hard not to.

I'm taking a nap every afternoon in order to power through the long nights. It's funny, though---I found pregnancy to be so much tougher this time in general because of caring for another child at the same time, and the sleep deprivation toward the end was ROUGH. Now I'm sleeping much less but I have the "newborn" adrenaline coursing through my body. Instead of having him tucked inside of me, I get the look at the REASON for being tired all day and all night, and he is just so worth it. The euphoria definitely trumps the exhaustion most of the time.

My pregnancy with Finn was a total breeze compared to this one with Eamonn. There was, of course, the major difference of only being responsible for myself the first time around, and taking care of a very active 2 year old the second time around. But there was also the constant worry--sometimes for legitimate reasons, like the appendectomy and frequent contractions, sometimes just my own fear--that something would happen and that this baby would not work out. Last Monday, when the midwife said she couldn't feel his head, I almost passed out. Even the next morning, just a couple of hours before his birth, I was immensely relieved to arrive at the hospital and immediately get hooked up to a fetal monitor, so that I could hear his steady heartbeat, and know that he was okay, and that we were almost to the finish line. We wanted another baby so badly, and I wanted Finn to have a sibling so much, that it always felt like there was a lot riding on this tiny person.

I honestly still can't believe he's here. It was a bumpy road to his beginning, and it was a long pregnancy. And I would do it all again, ten times over, to get to hold him like I am now.

More of Eamonn P. Cakes

Here are some more photos of Mr. E. He and I greeted the morning again by having a marathon nursing/diaper blowout/ burping/ nursing/ diaper blowout session from 3 to 6am. Jeff got up with him then and took him out on the back deck and had some coffee while reading GQ. I awoke to my mom, Chav, Finn, Jeff, and Eamonn eating eggs and sausage downstairs. I remember these sweet, fuzzy mornings from when Finn was a newborn, too. I can't believe this is only Eamonn's sixth day of being in the world. We are all so in love with him!

Notes from the Underground

Hi everyone. I've been wanting to post and share pictures for days now, but my free moments have been devoted to snuggling my perfect little warm baby and trying to spend a little time with my first beautiful boy, who now looks and feels like a giant to me. So here is my random stream of consciousness:
we came home on Thursday in the late afternoon, since both Eamonn and I were doing well. I will write a detailed version of Eamonn's grand entrance and the first 24 hours when I can, but suffice it to say that things went much better than the first time around and the hospital staff at WakeMed Cary was very good to us.

Eamonn is eating well but tends to get sleepy after a few minutes, so he also eats very frequently and is perfecting the art of cluster feeding from 12-5am. We went to the pediatrician yesterday morning and he is already gaining back what he lost after birth. I could not be more grateful for being able to breastfeed again.

When Eamonn was first born, Jeff and I thought he looked very different from Finn, but literally within 24 hours, he had turned into Finn's mini-me. It is honestly crazy how much he resembles his older brother...I feel constant deja vu! But Eamonn is already showing a lot less constant alertness and wakefulness than our poor Finn did early on.

Finn is doing well for the most part. He was up very early this morning because we put him to bed too late last night and because I think he's obviously a little jarred by the new addition. But he already says "baby Eamonn" and "he's my friend" and "I LOVE him." He wants to hold him all the time but unfortunately we only let him do it occasionally since his love for him is a little "strong" right now.

Jeff is hard at work but sneaking in time with Little E whenever he can. He's also paying lots of attention to Finn when he can.

Nana took incredible care of Finn for us this week and kept our household running at full speed and cleaner that it ever is. She left this morning and Mare Mare arrived to take over. She and Finn are bowling in the front yard.

Honestly, I can't believe this little miracle is here. My heart is so full that I can't even think about it some times because I'll start weeping uncontrollably. It is truly amazing to have two healthy children. I don't know what I did to deserve it. I'm trying to soak up every single sleepless moment with my precious baby, because I know they fly by.

Thank you for all the love shown to us over the past week.

T Minus 11 Hours

Hello, friends. Well, it's my due date. And our baby's birthday is going to be May 22nd, 2012. I went to my 40 week doctor's appointment this morning and got quite the surprise. One of the midwives was checking for dilation when she said, "I can't feel the baby's head...I can't find the baby's head...where is this baby?" My heart started beating a mile a minute. She had to go get an ultrasound machine out of another patient's room and it took 10 or 15 minutes. I think I breathed in about 3 times.

She waved the wand all over my belly and then gave me the news that the baby is now transverse, or lying sideways across my stomach. One of my doctors came in and he confirmed it. The transverse position is pretty uncommon--only one in 2500 babies (and especially to happen all of the sudden, at 40 weeks). Severe fetal distress during labor (what Finn displayed) is pretty uncommon--only about 5-8% of babies. Are you noticing a pattern here? Our children like to be unique.

I was pretty shell-shocked for a few hours, but Jeff and I processed it and a nice lady called me and scheduled my c-section for 7:30 am tomorrow. So....we're having a baby! Tomorrow! We have to be there at 5:30am. I don't think there's any way I'm sleeping tonight.

Well, it's been quite the journey! At 11 weeks I didn't know if the baby was going to make it through the appendectomy. At 25 weeks I didn't know if I'd get to 30 weeks, let alone 40. And now, at 40 weeks, I'm about to meet our boy or girl. Every single person who reads this blog has been such a caring, supportive force in my life. Thank you all for everything. Here we go!


P.S. A huge public thank you to my mother and father in law for taking care of us over the past 5 days. They have made it infinitely easier to be a huge grumpy pregnant woman!

Baby Watch

Baby is still snug in there, although we sure are hoping that the grand entrance will be soon. I had a false alarm in the middle of the night with some contraction-like cramps and pain, but they faded away when the morning came. Really, really hoping they start up again soon.

In the meantime, Nana and Finn have been using balls as creative wardrobe accessories.

And Nana's been busy working her trademark magic around our house, with fresh flowers and freshly vacuumed stairs. Sorry, friends, you can't have her. She's all ours this week!

I made strawberry smoothies for Finn and me yesterday.

We tried to jumpstart labor with taco night.

Jeff and I enjoyed a lovely walk around the neighborhood in the evening while Nana handled bath and bedtime. I don't know if that's what prompted my middle of the night episode, but since absolutely nothing is happening now, I'm headed out for a walk in case it'll start moving things in the right direction. Come on, Baby, come on!!!

Look Who We Found at RDU

She's he-ere!!!!

Nana arrived this afternoon, just in time to help this super pregnant woman out. Finn is, of course, LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

Did you hear that, baby?! We have help! Time to come out!!

Classic Jeff

I have probably told this story before. Finn was born early on a Sunday morning, and we had family meet him that day and on the next day. But on that Tuesday, it was just Jeff, me, and Finn, all day long. Jeff wasn't sleeping at the hospital with us, because we lived seven minutes away and there was a full nursing staff on call to help me with diaper changes and the like. And since it was Jeff we're talking about, who sleeps 3 or 4 hours a night when there's something exciting happening, he'd opened the door to my hospital room at 5am, already showered for the day, bearing supplies I needed from the drugstore and muffins and coffee.

The room was still dark, but I was wide awake, cradling our sleeping son, who was barely 72 hours old. "He wouldn't keep the blanket around him," I said. "He kept getting his arms out and crying."

"Classic Finn." Jeff replied. That was the first time I laughed so hard that my stitches hurt. I was laughing, of course, because Finn hadn't been alive enough to demonstrate "classic" anything. But Jeff's joke turned out to have some truth to it. He knew that boy from the beginning.

This blog is about our family, but it's my thoughts, my struggles, my perspectives that tell every story. You don't hear it from Jeff, and so I wonder whether it's clear how much of a role he plays in every moment of our days. Those of you who know him can picture it, I'm sure: how his even-keeled nature steadies our household, how his fun-loving spirit finds joy in the simplest of things, how his enthusiasm for learning keeps our lives interesting. He's playing yard golf or sitting at the piano or swinging our son at heart-stopping speeds in most of the photos on here. But you don't see him helping me fold laundry on a Sunday afternoon, or manning the oven for Friday night pizza. You don't see the long, long hours he works at this time of year, when he's not home until 9 or 10 or midnight, and is up to play with our son for 20 minutes before heading out again. You don't see the long conversations we have before sleeping on weekend nights, when we talk about so many things other than Finn, and when we're reminded that we are each other's best friend.

I'm almost to my due date, and this baby still doesn't feel quite real to me. I ask Jeff how, if I can't get my head around it even with a fully grown human being kicking me all day long, he feels connected to what's happening. "I won't until the baby is born," he says, "it's wild. But this is the time of our lives."

We'll both be in our thirties in another month. These next ten years will be spent raising our little family, enjoying what is left of our youth, climbing the career ladder, hoping for continued good health. Surviving the long hours and mourning all of the ones that went too quickly. Finding time for each other while pouring our energy into two small people who look to us for everything.

It'll start again in a dark hospital room, early in the morning. I can't wait.